Expecto Pure Disappointment

“Expecto Pure Disappointment”

-A missing moment from OOtP-

A/N: I wrote this a while back, but it’s still canon-friendly after all this time, so I thought I would post it here. Thanks to willowwand for being such a helpful beta.

*~*

Hermione reluctantly shuffled down the girls' dormitory stairs. It was late. She had really wanted to finish her essay in peace and go to sleep, but Lavender and Pavarti had decided to have one of their late night makeover sessions and she was forced to go to the common room to finish her work.

She yawned and thought that she really could have used an early night. The previous night Umbridge had discovered the DA’s meeting, and now Dumbledore was gone. Hermione had not really slept well after all of that.

As she entered the common room, she noticed Ron was still sitting up by the fire, and she observed Fred and George retreating up to their own dorm. She stopped for a few moments to regard Ron as he stared into the fire; he did not look happy.

She approached cautiously, as she realized that he was really in a sulk. She hated seeing him upset, and he looked downright forlorn. She sat down in the chair next to his and tentatively said his name.

His head snapped toward her. "Hermione! You startled me!"

"Sorry. It wasn't intentional. You seem really caught up in your thoughts."

"Yeah. I reckon so."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"Not really."

"Oh."

They sat in silence for several minutes, each regarding the fire, until Hermione admitted to herself that she was a bit annoyed that he wouldn't tell her what was wrong. Really! How else was she to help him?

"Ron," she began, hoping to break the ice again, "was that Fred and George who were going up just as I came down?"

"Yeah...so you saw them, then. Did you hear what they were saying?"

"No."

"Good."

"Honestly, Ron, you should just tell me what they said and get it off your chest. You know I don't believe the ridiculous things they say about you."

"Well, you would this time. They were actually right about something it seems."

"I doubt it. Please don't be in a foul mood because of anything they said."

"It's not what they said. It's just, well, I think I'm upset about what they were mocking. I can't really blame them for picking on it. I mean on me-- picking on me."

"Ron, what are you on about?"

He looked at her for several minutes without speaking, then sighed heavily. "Fine. You were at the DA meeting last night anyway, so I suppose you already know about it.”

Hermione furrowed her brow in confusion.

"Right. You saw my Patronus, didn't you?"

She sat up brightly. "Yes, I did! It was wonderful, Ron. You produced a fully corporeal Patronus. That's NEWT level, you know."

He scoffed at her enthusiasm. "Yeah, it's great, isn't it? Well, I suppose that even if it can't ever fight off a single dementor, it will at least notify me when the post has arrived."

Hermione was definitely confused. "Ron, what are you babbling about? The post?"

He looked straight at her. "It's a little, yippy dog, Hermione. It's tiny! It's useless!"

"Come off it, Ron, your Patronus is a Jack Russell terrier. It's a wonderful breed."

"Yeah, right, wonderful... if you need to nip at a Dark creature's ankles."

He turned to the fire, sulking again. She sighed exasperatedly. "Haven't you read anything about the theory of Patronuses and how they work?"

She noticed just how far back he rolled his eyes as he turned to look at her again, but she let it go with his answer. "No."

She gave him a stern look, but decided to skip reminding him, yet again, of the importance of reading. "It's not the Patronus's shape that's important in fighting a dementor, it's the emotion that creates it."

"Yeah, well, that's all well and good, but I'll look like a right fool with a little puppy prancing out of my wand and playing about with an old shoe while Cho's swan and Harry's stag go and fight the dementors." He turned back to the fire and stared into it morosely.

Hermione regarded him for a few minutes, hoping that a little silence would help cool him down, but he seemed determined to brood for a bit. She decided to change tack. "Ron, have I ever told you about the first time I ever did magic?"

He turned and stared at her as if she had an extra head. "What has that got to do with anything?"

"Just answer. Have I?"

"No."

“All right, then. Give me a few minutes to tell you. I promise it will make sense with what we've been discussing."

He nodded his assent.

She took a deep breath and began. "When I was little, I had a difficult time making friends."

He jerked back his head at this, surprised by her statement. She thought fleetingly that she had never liked him more than at that moment for that reaction, and it took her a few seconds to remember to keep telling her story and not to reach over and snog him.

“Believe it or not,” she continued. “I was a bit bossy, and something of a know-it-all."

Ron objected immediately. “Yeah, but that's no reason for other kids to not want to be your friend. I mean, you've got loads of other nice qualities. You're really clever, loyal and brave… and you have a nice laugh, and...” He stopped short, wide-eyed, and as he turned to look at his lap, she saw the tips of his ears start to redden.

Hermione again took a few seconds to fight off her snogging impulse. She felt overwhelmed, but couldn't risk reading too much into his words. She had only been discussing friendship, after all. "Er, thanks... At any rate, my parents had hoped that when I went to school that I would make friends, but it didn't work out that way. So, when I was six, they bought me a dog to keep me company, so I wouldn't feel so alone. It was a Jack Russell terrier, and my father named him Herakles."

“Herakles?” Ron’s expression was annoyingly similar to the one he wore when they discussed S.P.E.W.

“Yes.” She laughed slightly at the memory. "My dad has a bit of a thing for Greek mythology, and he thought it would be funny to see a small dog with such a name. Anyway, Herakles became my best friend. I played with him constantly, and he sat on my lap as I read."

Ron stared at her, his growing confusion evident. "That's all really nice Hermione, although I'm not sure where this is going."

"Relax. I'm not finished. When I was eight, I went to the play park in my neighborhood by myself one afternoon, a bit late really, even though I wasn't supposed to. The play park was next to a small wooded area, and I was forbidden to go near it. I thought it must have had monsters or something in it, though in retrospect my parents probably didn't want me to go there because it was where all the teenagers hung out and snogged and such. But it was a beautiful day, and I wanted to see if there were any children who would play with me. There weren't too many kids around when I got there, and I had no luck at all. So I decided to swing by myself for a bit instead."

Hermione regarded Ron nervously. He was staring at her quite intently, which made her feel a bit lightheaded, but she stifled the nervous giggle she felt in her throat.

"After a few minutes," she continued, now staring at the arm of the chair and drawing invisible circles on it with her fingertip, "three older boys, maybe ten years old, came over and demanded I get off the swing so that they could use it. Honestly, if they had only asked politely, I would have gotten up without a second thought, but they were so rude! So I refused."

She took a deep breath to steady her nerves and chanced another look at Ron. He was grinning crookedly at her. "That figures."

She went back to drawing her invisible circles. "They said they were going to force me off, but I refused to budge. I told them it was a free play park and that I had been there first and they were just going to have to wait." Hermione heard Ron laugh softly. "Then one suggested that they steal my shoes and throw them into the road, because then I would have to get up and get my shoes and they would have the swing. Well, then I was scared. The others agreed, and they started heading towards me. They started grabbing for my feet, and I didn't know what to do because they were much bigger and stronger than I was. Then, all of a sudden, I felt this great shockwave and a strong gust of wind, and those boys were knocked off their feet and at least fifteen feet away from me right onto their bums. I didn't know what had happened or what to do next. The boys stared at each other and then at me, and finally one of them said I was going to be in trouble because he was going to tell his mum what I’d done. Before I could even object or defend myself or explain that I had no idea what happened, they had run off."

She looked at Ron again, but his smile was gone. He looked so concerned for her it nearly took her breath away. She turned to the fire and continued. "I panicked. I had never done magic before, I didn’t understand what had happened, and I thought I was going to be in trouble. So I ran without thinking or really even looking where I was going. I ran straight into the woods until I came to a fallen tree. I curled up in a ball, half underneath the trunk, and cried my eyes out for a long while. Eventually I calmed myself down. I knew that my parents would believe that I hadn't hurt those boys on purpose, even though I was probably still going to be in a bit of trouble for being at the play park to begin with. But by the time I realized that everything was going to be okay and I should probably go home, it was dark. Then I was really afraid."

"What happened? What did you do?" Ron's concerned voice broke into her story.

She faced him again and smiled. "I didn't do anything. The next thing I knew Herakles was there, licking my face. I was never so happy to see him. He started barking like mad and a few minutes later my parents were there, too-- they had found me."

Ron looked relieved, and then smiled. "So what did your parents do? Were you in trouble?"

"They took me home, fed me soup and tucked me into bed. They punished me for a few weeks for going to the play park and into the woods without permission, but that was all. They couldn't make sense of the boys flying through the air either, but three years later when I got my Hogwarts letter it all made sense. They figured that if magic could keep me safe from those boys, that I had better come here and learn it properly." She smiled at Ron and reached over to put her hand on his forearm. "Ron, when I saw your Patronus yesterday, I didn't see an annoying little puppy. I saw my hero again, Herakles."

Ron smiled slightly as he looked back at his lap. "Wow," he said, "that's just, wow." They sat for a few moments in silence. "Hermione, you've never mentioned Herakles before. Do you still have him?"

She quickly shook her head. "No, he passed on just after I came to Hogwarts."

"I'm sorry."

Hermione's smile faltered as, in the ensuing silence, she plucked up her courage. She took a steadying breath. "Ron, you know what I was saying before about the theory of Patronuses? You see, it’s said that that shape of one’s Patronus has to do with the lov..."

"Wow!" He cut her off and looked at her enthusiastically. "I just thought of something! I mean, my Patronus is a dog, and yours is an otter!"

It was her turn to look perplexed and flabbergasted that he had cut her off in the midst of such a speech! Had he not heard what she was saying? She surprised herself when she found the ability to speak again. "What?"

"Yeah! I grew up just outside Ottery St. Catchpole, along the River Otter. I mean, I never had an otter save me when I was lost or anything, but I definitely saw plenty of otters while I was growing up. So they remind me of my childhood, you know?"

"Ron..."

"Don't you see? My Patronus reminds you of when you were a kid, and yours reminds me of when I was one. See? What a coincidence!"

"A coincidence!?! Ron, weren't you listening..."

He cut her off again. "Hey! I just thought of something! I wonder if our Patronuses sort of go together like that because we're friends?" He stood and looked down at her happily. "What a great coincidence!"

She stared at him, gobsmacked, but he was smiling so brightly, so sincerely at her, that she just couldn't continue to explain. He seemed so happy that they were friends-- just friends-- that it took the wind out of her sails completely.

"Yes, Ron," she conceded, "it's a great coincidence."

He smiled, then looked around the common room and for the first time noticed it was empty. "It must be getting late. I guess I should get up to bed. So, er, thanks, Hermione. I feel a world better."

"No problem," she sighed.

He started toward the boys' staircase. "Aren't you going up?"

"No," she said softly. "I think I'll stay here for just a little bit."

"Okay. Goodnight, Hermione."

"Goodnight Ron," she murmured as she heard his feet start their noisy tread up to the fifth year boys' dorm. She sighed again, then turned morosely toward the fire. Now it was her turn to sulk.