Free

A/N:  This story began as a drabble for the prompt: sunset.  Thanks to my friend belovedranger, for her beta work and her continuous support.

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It’s over and you can hardly believe it.  What’s next?  You have no idea, but deep within you, you know there are countless things for you to do… freely.  Nothing should hold you back now.

You’re no longer chained to a destiny you never really chose.  To a destiny that was originally chosen for you one dark October night.  That day he marked you as his equal, unknowingly giving you the power to end his life years later.

Yes, you could have chosen to ignore that destiny and let Dark Magic and terror take over the Wizarding World.  You could have ignored your conscience, ignored the responsibility placed on your shoulders; but that would have meant going against everything you were taught, everything you believe in.  It would have meant disappointing all the people you admired: your parents, Ron and Hermione, Ginny, Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall, Sirius and Lupin, the Weasleys, but especially yourself.

You wouldn’t have been able to live with yourself.  Your conscience would never let you feel at ease, knowing you deliberately did nothing to stop him, knowing it was only you who had the ability to put an end to Voldemort.

But now you’re no longer attached to a promise you silently made when you were kneeling next to Dumbledore’s dead body.  A promise you vowed to keep despite all costs.  A promise made as a mountain of deep guilt and pain swelled in your heart. 

You had never felt so much pain and so much anger combined.  That day you swore not to rest until Voldemort and everything he stood for was vanquished.  The responsibility was in your hands, and you were not going to run away from it.  You owed it to Dumbledore.

True to your promise, you faced the daunting and often dangerous task of going off in search of the hidden Horcruxes.  Initially, you were set to go off on your own, but there was nothing you could have done to prevent Ron and Hermione from following.

We’re with you whatever happens, Ron had said and Hermione had agreed resolutely. It was settled, and you had unconsciously let out a sigh of relief then.  You didn’t want them in danger, but you selfishly wanted them at your side.  

To be honest you needed them with you, and you silently thanked whomever had put them in your path.  You could not have asked for a better pair of friends.  Nothing could have replaced Ron’s loyalty, Hermione’s intellect, or their unwavering determination.  And so you three set out on a mission to find and destroy every piece of Voldemort’s soul, to weaken his power, and to finally put an end to the Dark Lord. 

The long search, the bits of Dark Magic that protected each Horcrux, the figuring out how to destroy them, the injuries, the dread at facing danger – all were just the warm-up acts before the last showdown.  It was never easy, never fun.  The days had felt like weeks and the weeks like months. 

At nights, you could barely sleep for an hour at a time. Every little noise made you jump, afraid that the Death Eaters had found your hideout.  Smiles and genuine laughter were scarce; it was typically Ron who managed to bring a humorous touch to the arduous tasks.  It usually happened with a sarcastic or highly inappropriate joke, considering the situation.  You would laugh out loud, thankful for the distraction.  Hermione would roll her eyes impatiently, telling Ron to stay on task, but her lips would covertly twitch into a small smile.  You knew she appreciated his humor as much as you did.

Ron and Hermione stayed by your side through every trial, every hex, every attack.  They never once faltered, never once backed away, never once decided it was their time to go back to the relative safety of their homes.   They gave you strength, reminded you every day of why you had to keep on fighting.  As time went by, you saw them get closer, and you couldn’t blame them for wanting to find a source of warmth and comfort. 

You saw how Hermione sought out Ron for support, for affection.  More than once you saw them hug tightly, her head leaning against his chest and his hand caressing her back gently.  Occasionally, you even saw them share a couple of chaste kisses, an embrace that was more than friendly. 

In your worst moments, it made you feel jealous: not because you wanted Hermione to reach out for you, but because you had wished Ginny was there, with you.  In those moments, you had swallowed hard, trying to keep those emotions in check. Then you had backed away, wanting to give them privacy.  That was solely for them; you owned them at least that time alone.  Their newfound closeness reminded you of the good things awaiting you once it was all over; it was a powerful reason to continue.

Thanks to the two of them, to sticking together as an unfaltering trio, and to the help of many other friends, the darkness is now over.  You’ve all succeeded.

You’re free.  It’s thrilling and frightening all at once.

You don’t know what to do with yourself now… now that your destiny is exclusively in your hands, not in the hands of a prophecy, a duty, or a promise.

Here you are now sitting on the empty Hogwarts’ grounds unsure of what step to take next.  Behind the castle that was your home for many years, the sunset is bright and calling out for you.  You contemplate it… and realize that life is waiting for you behind it.  The notion terrifies you.

You’re finally free… but you’re not sure what that freedom will bring you.  Your mind boggles as it hits you that you don’t know what to do with the freedom you’ve always craved.   What’s your purpose now?

It surprises you that you now feel more trepidation than when you were standing face to face with Voldemort.  Back then you knew what to do.  You’d prepared years for that moment, and you had the force of love and friendship vibrating through every vein of your body, giving you ultimate strength.  That was your tool to defeat evil. 

Here and now, you have doubts.  For this freedom you’re about to experience you have had no preparation.  You feel confused, lost.  Where do you go next?  What will you do? 

You no longer have the sanctuary of Hogwarts as your home, and you would never go back to the Durselys.  Not that they want you at their house.  You snort as you imagine their horror-stricken faces if you were to show up, wanting to stay there.  And at the Burrow, could you stay there?  It seems silly to wonder because you’ve always been welcomed, but it’s always as a guest during the holidays. You can’t possibly impose for too long.  Now you need to find a home of your own, that much you know.

"Ready, mate?" a voice behind you asks, and immediately you know that it's Ron. Hermione must be right next to him, their hands tightly clasped together.  They no longer have to put their love on hold; now they can freely walk hand in hand.

"For what?" you murmur, but you know that they hear you.

"For anything, Harry. You're free to do what you want," Hermione says, her voice tired but full of hope and determination.

You know she's right, like she has a tendency to be. And suddenly you're no longer afraid, or at least not as terrified as you had been before. You know that whatever awaits you behind that sunset, you'll have Ron and Hermione next to you. You won’t be lost.  They’ll help you find your way when you stray, just like they’ve done for the past seven years.

You smile weakly and stand up. Now you're ready.

"Let's go," you say, and the three of your walk slowly towards the Hogwarts’ gates that lead out to Hogsmeade.  It’s almost in slow-motion, as if taking each step is a hard task. 

As the gates become visible in the distance, your eyes widen.  There are fireworks coming from every corner of Hogsmeade.  You smile ruefully; Fred and George must be selling out of Weasleys’ Wild-Fire Whiz Bangs.  The sound of cheers can be heard; waves of people can be seen celebrating. 

“The celebration has started,” Hermione says in awe.

“Isn’t it too… soon?” you wonder out loud.

“Nah, mate, people have been waiting too long for this day.  This time he’s gone for good. I’ve reckon the celebration will be bigger, longer, than last time.  What are we waiting for?  Let’s go,” says Ron jovially as he pulls Hermione by the hand, and they both set out on a fast jog.  You can hear Hermione giggling and Ron calling out for Neville who’s within earshot.

You stare in wonder at the joy of everyone celebrating.  You made that happen.  No, not just you.  You all made that happen.  Is it truly possible?  Is he really gone for good?  No more haunting nightmares, no excruciating pain in your scar, no more visions from a disturbing connection?  Yes, it’s possible. 

You are free.  You are all free.  You want to celebrate, to bask in the happiness like everyone else. 

You finally let yourself laugh.  It’s loud and maybe even a bit maniacal.  But you don’t really care; it’s a relief to simply be able to laugh without holding back.  It’s no longer inappropriate, like it sometimes felt during dark times.  Now, laughing is even expected.

You don’t waste any more time and run to catch up with Ron and Hermione, but you soon realize they’re lost in the crowd.  Your eyes search eagerly for a familiar face, for someone to hug.  Where’s Ginny?  Mrs. Weasley?  Lupin?

As you walk into the crowd, you feel what seems like hundreds of people reaching out for you.  Some are shaking your hand enthusiastically, others giving you a manly palm, and some witches even steal a kiss.  You feel overwhelmed.  You’ve never been one to like so much attention.  You don’t feel like you deserve it.  It was something you had to do.  It was your duty, not an act of bravery like people seem to think.

Finally, a familiar small hand firmly grabs your own.  You know it’s Ginny; you would recognize her touch anywhere.  You look up to see her bright, brown eyes staring back at you, a wide grin playing on her lips.

She wastes no time and leaps into your arms.  “Harry, it’s over.  It’s really over,” she repeats with candor.  You can feel her tears running down your neck, and you itch to comfort her, to wipe those tears away. You can’t; the words are stuck in your throat, and you don’t want to let go of her, even for a second.

She pulls back far too soon for your liking, but you can’t really be disappointed when she tenderly caresses your face and reaches up to kiss you.  And then she pulls you toward a nearby street corner where more of the Weasleys are gathered.

 Mrs. Weasley pulls you into a tight hug, and you hang on to her as if she were your own mother.  Fred and George are grinning widely as thousands of their fireworks decorate the sky.  Ron and Hermione also make their way towards the Weasleys.   The two of them are flushed and happier than you have ever seen them.  Bill stands close to Fleur, shielding her belly from the pushing crowd.  And you stand to the side, Ginny’s hand in your own, contemplating it all.

Maybe you don’t really know what’s coming next, but is that really so bad?  You’re up for new adventures, for exciting challenges, for the chance to live fully. 

You are free, but never alone. You'll have them: the friends that helped you become what you are today... free.