Harry Potter and the Red Lion
Includes excerpts from the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Rowling, Scholastic, and Warner Brothers. I certainly pulled several sentences right from Rowling’s books to illustrate certain character connections.
The Chosen One at Privet Drive
At Privet Drive, near midnight, a tall, young man stepped out of a Ford Anglia. If anyone on that street had been looking out their window at that very moment, they would have found this to be very odd, because you could have sworn there was no car there before, just one moment ago.
The young man’s blue eyes were very bright, his hair was flame red, and his nose was very long. He brought out two bird cages from the car. He opened these and two owls flew out. One, a snowy white owl, flew over to perch on a fence nearby as if such were her natural habitat. The other very small owl joyfully flew figure-eights above his head while Ron Weasley rummaged in his pocket for something. He suddenly looked up warily and relaxed when he saw just a cat. He chuckled and muttered, "I should’ve known."
He found what he was looking for in his pocket and held it up. Twelve times he clicked the Put-Outer and all the street lamps in sight were extinguished while someone moved toward him from the shadows. Quietly he said, "Fancy seeing you here a day early, Hermione. I saw Crookshanks.” He reached in his pocket again, “Would you like a lemon drop? They're a Muggle sweet that I like. Harry got me started on them."
The orange bandy-legged cat sniffed. Lemon drops were no kind of proper cat treat.
Hermione stepped out of the shadows just then and accepted the treat, “The Knight Bus brought me here earlier than expected.” she frowned, “Where’s Harry? Where are Tonks and Lupin?”
Ron pointed to the sky above them, "There Harry is, flying on an invisible motorbike. Tonks and Lupin are on their brooms on either side of him using the Disillusionment spell so they can’t be seen either."
“You were supposed to all travel together in the car!” she spoke quietly but her eyes blazed. “Where did he get that motorbike?"
"Evidently, it once belonged to Sirius, who gave it to Hagrid, who used it to drop Harry off right here the night Harry’s parents died. Hagrid stored the motorbike at Hogwarts ever since.”
“So the motorbike actually belongs to Harry as part of his inheritance from Sirius?”
“Yeah. But now, Harry arrives at the Dursleys, on that very same bike, on his very own terms,” Ron looked up at Harry with pride.
“I can’t believe you all separated!” Hermione whispered furiously. "One flying Muggle vehicle in the air unnerves me. But two! You could have been seen. You could have been killed!"
“We kept close to each other the whole trip. Besides, you separated from us first.”
“It was very unsettling riding the Hogwarts Express home without you and Harry,” Hermione admitted.
“Well, you had to see your parents and explain why you are on a study tour of Romania with Harry and me all this summer and the next school year,” Ron smirked. “How did that go?”
“Splendidly, and you are clumsily changing the topic.”
“Oh, look, Hermione, Harry is about to land,” said Ron trying to act innocent.
Hermione rolled her eyes; however, she did smile just a little.
Ron continued, “Harry didn’t bother telling the Dursleys squat. Right now they probably think they are well shot of him. They sure will be surprised in a few minutes. I left the pleasant chore up of telling my parents about why I didn’t take the train to Ginny. She lies like a champion; even Fred and George are impressed.”
“Maybe that explains why Ginny had so many interesting ideas on the train,” Hermione mused.
“What?”
“Remember, you thought we should have a decoy. Neville volunteered to mimic Harry and masquerade as the ‘Chosen One’ on the train. I asked Slughorn for some of the Polyjuice potion and he readily complied.”
“That is just good strategy,” Ron pointed out.
“That was definitely a brilliant idea, Ron. I never would have thought of it,” Hermione’s compliment made Ron beam. “Bill, Fleur, and Moody rode the train as well as bodyguards for Neville; of course they thought he really was Harry.”
“How did Bill do?” asked Ron worriedly.
“He did very well.. Other than the scarring, he acts much like he did before. Of course, I haven’t been around Bill very much,” Hermione said.
Hermione continued speaking, yet she looked uncomfortable, “Getting back to Ginny, she took your decoy idea and made some erm…adjustments.”
“I’m not going to like this, am I?” said Ron flatly.
“I’m confident you won’t,” said Hermione. “Luna was polyjuiced to mimic you.”
Ron groaned.
“Being inspired by Bill’s really long hair, Luna tried you out in a much longer style. Remember when we wondered if Justin Finch-Fletchley was gay? Well, he is and evidently he now fancies you a lot. Luna even let him fix your/her hair in a ponytail,” Hermione had to let out a giggle.
“Oh - My - God,” moaned Ron.
“Bill finally asked Ginny what was the problem with you and Ginny told him what was going on. So he is now helping us. So Luna is now staying at your house pretending to be you. Luna even invited Justin to Bill’s wedding to be her date, or your date, erm…whatever. She thought it was the polite thing to do. By the way, the cover story for your mum is that you are suffering from some funny side effects of a spell the Death-Eaters hit you with the night Dumbledore died.”
Ron sighed, “Oh, yes, the Suddenly Totally Mental Gay Bloke spell. Well, as long as the cover story works, I guess I can deal with all the complications. At least I have a date for the wedding.”
“I helped you in every way I could,” offered Hermione. “On the train ride home, I tried to minimize the problems Luna caused. I must have Obliviated the memory of about fifty students of your, I mean, her antics on the ride home. Ginny realized that she botched things up, decoy-wise, by not watching Luna carefully enough and she sincerely sends her apologies. We sat down and explained things to Luna and she calmed right down. Luna likes you a lot and she just got carried away. She apologizes to you as well. She is afraid you will be mad at her.”
“Luna is a good girl, mental and all, but all right. I’m sure she did her best. It’s not easy being me,” said Ron. “Nice bloke, Justin. He must have good taste after all. So I just have to let him down gently, I reckon,” sighed Ron.
“You did such a proper job letting Lavender down gently, after all,” teased Hermione. It was a testament to the resilience of their relationship that Hermione and Ron could now joke about the whole Lavender incident.
Hermione continued, “Neville, as Harry, just walked over to his Gran, with Bill, Fleur, and Moody as bodyguards. The Polyjuice wore off and he changed back to himself. Moody certainly was impressed that we fooled him as well as we did. He gave our deception high marks. However, he plans to rap you and Harry on the knuckles soundly when next he sees you.”
“It could be worse. At least he isn’t going to blow off our buttocks.” They both looked up as Harry’s motorbike was just about to land.
“So we are using a flying car and a flying motorbike to search the countryside for Horcruxes?” Hermione said dubiously, “Nothing surprises me anymore.”
“Look, you agreed that we need transportation that can’t be traced. Harry and I don’t have our Apparition licenses yet. I summoned the car out of the forest and actually it was quite easy to fix, just a few Reparo charms. Harry’s motorbike had a good invisibility booster and after we looked that over, fixing the one on the car was easy.” Ron petted the car fondly. “Besides we are going to be on the road for months and the car has room for our belongings.”
Hermione looked down at the pavement. “I just worry. It is all so dangerous.” Then she looked up at him concern etched on her face, “I've been trying to figure out...that night Voldemort turned up in Godric's Hollow. After all the things he's done, after all the people he's killed, Voldemort couldn't kill a little baby. It's just astounding. Of all the things to stop him. But how in the name of heaven did Harry survive?"
"We can only guess," Ron said, "We may never know." He looked at his golden watch and examined it. It was a very odd watch with twelve hands and little stars moving around the edge. “It’s midnight.”
On cue, Harry landed down the street and was motoring toward them.
"I've observed the Dursleys while I waited. I've never seen more obnoxious people in my life, not counting Draco," said Hermione angrily as they watched Harry speeding towards them. “I plan to yank some straight answers out of precious Aunt Petunia."
"Say, Hermione, can I hurt Dudley? He bullied Harry something awful his whole life," asked Ron.
Hermione considered, "Yes. You restrained yourself from hitting Percy quite nicely at Dumbledore’s funeral. You've earned the right to hit Dudley repeatedly. At one point, however, just stand back so I can have one clear shot at him myself."
Harry rode up to them, “Hitting Dudley repeatedly…sounds brilliant! Can I help?” He gunned the motorbike for a few minutes and watched as every light in the Dursley’s house came on and Uncle Vernon began bellowing. Harry smiled.
Hermione exchanged greetings with soon-to-be Mr. and Mrs. Remus Lupin who dismounted their brooms. A light from Mrs. Figg’s home turned on soon followed by an old lady peeking out her window while several cats emerged out the cat-flap of her front door.
“Wocher, Hermione. Freaky pre-honeymoon I got here… guarding the ‘Chosen One,’ living with a feisty old lady, a million cats, and one wolf,” quipped Tonks. “Remus, you owe me at least a week in the Riviera.”
“I’m sure if we are very thrifty on my non-existent salary, we can take that trip in about a million years,” joked Lupin.
“It’s a date!” smiled Tonks, happily embracing Lupin and giving him a quick kiss.
Mrs. Figg emerged from her home and walked over to Harry’s group, wearing a robe and slippers, while several more cats spilled out the front entrance. Crookshanks wound his way around Mrs. Figg’s ankles affectionately. Mrs. Figg reached down to scratch his ears, “Oh, Crookie, you made it home!”
“Home?” asked Hermione.
“Certainly, my dear. This is how I earn my keep in the world. I breed kneazles. Crookie started his life in a basket in my under-the-stairs cupboard.” She leaned down to scratch behind his ears. “He was a love-child-kitten between a pedigree kneazle and a very amourous alley cat of dubious heritage.” She looked up and smiled at Hermione, “Crookie decided, as kneazles often do, to go out into the world and make his own way as a familiar to a witch or a wizard.” Crookshanks returned to Hermione and leaned up against her leg as if to stake his territory and to assure her that he was still her one and only, once and future, kneazle.
“Mrs. Figg, you live next door now?” asked Harry.
“Yes, this house came on the market and I needed a bigger home to expand my kneazle living quarters. As a bonus, I got a much better mortgage rate. Someone also needed to live closer to your house, my dear. Order business, you know.” She looked over the motorbike. “Nice! I prefer Harleys myself.”
Harry revved up the motorbike once again very loudly to irritate Uncle Vernon just a bit more. More cursing and bellowing emerged from inside the Dursley home. Harry’s smile broadened. "How do you like my motorbike, Hermione?" said Harry.
“It suits you; rebel with a cause!” Hermione said to Harry as she laughed.
Ron quickly put the lights of the street lamps back on with the Put-Outer. Just in time before… “Scoundrels! Punks! I’m calling the police!” roared Vernon. Bumps and curses followed Vernon’s progress down the stairs and to the front door.
Lupin returned to Harry’s side. “Tonks is going to get some sleep over at Figgy’s while I stand watch over you tonight, Harry.” Quickly, Lupin whispered the Disillusionment spell and seemed to merge into the Dursleys’ brickwork. Tonks and Mrs. Figg chatted amiably as they walked back over to Mrs. Figg’s home. Harry then rang the Dursley’s doorbell.
The trio of young friends stood at the doorstep and grinned at each other. Uncle Vernon opened the door purple with rage. "Hi, Uncle Vernon, these are my friends, Ron and Hermione. We're all staying here until my birthday," said Harry gleefully. "They can kip up in my room with me."
Vernon thrust a finger in Harry’s face, “You have a blasted motorbike! Hoodlum!” Vernon’s eyes were wild, "We thought you had finally run off! That daft old Mrs. Figg said you’d be back. Well, I don’t care and good riddance to you and you certainly aren't bringing these...these...freaks into my home!" Vernon started to slam the door in their faces but Ron shoved himself past Vernon and into the hallway.
"We stick with Harry," said Ron angrily, pulling his wand out oh-so-casually.
Vernon looked up at the tall, surly red-haired youth, "You can't use magic! You are underage!" bellowed Vernon.
"Harry may be, but we aren't," growled Ron.
Hermione got her wand out also and gave it a twirl. "Let's pretend you invited us into your sitting room shall we?"
Crookshanks dashed into the Dursleys’ home, where no cat had ever trod. He jumped on Petunia's sofa, sat down regally, then lifted his hind leg, and began washing his most private parts thoroughly.
